Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

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    [KHK]Antumarin
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    Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]Antumarin on Fri Aug 02, 2013 6:21 pm

    First of all, if you aren't up to read a wall of text, close this tab and never speak to me again. I have real friends who will gladly read it all.
    That being said, I'll proceed:

    This is it. I'm done. The end of the line. I can't hold myself anymore. I couldn't sleep lately just because I didn't know what would I say. Here it is. The time has come. I'm leaving.
    Why? There's a lot to begin with. I'm one person who lives in the past. I like old school rock and over-ten-years-old TV series. Being who I am I can't do a thing against my feeling about the current state of the gang. So much coldness, so much hatred, so much need for rules, so little time for entertainment. I remember when we were less than ten members (I have a shitty memory, yet I remember it clearly). How much fun we used to have driving around a town we have already explored so much yet we found everything so... fun. The races, the parties in Jizzy's, flying around or defending Las Venturas' 7-11. I won't lie, we had troubles even back then, but we either solved them or don't mind them at all, we didn't make a drama about it. I shared so much great experiences with so many people I don't see in years and most of them left because, in my honest opinion, they've learned something before me: When to move on. It may sound stupid but it's truly something I haven't learned yet, until now that is.
    It seemed simple, if it isn't funny anymore, you leave. I saw the changes but I denied myself to think about leaving because I cared so much about the gang (and I still sort of do) and it slowly was killing me. I can't take it anymore, and before trying to bring up some mutated version of fun every month or so when we used to do it every day I prefer stopping it at all. Why would we do it if everybody else is busy and focused on something else? This "something else" is the only thing that matters now for every active member and, in my most deeply honest and heart-open believe, is the responsible of leading the gang into it's tragic yet unavoidable doom. Think whatever you think, say whatever you say, let me get this clear: I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH, and the remaining of the old members can see it clearly. You know it as well as I do, stop trying to deny it. This particular something had corrupted our group and our members and I hope you can see it too (even tough it's too late to change anything at all). Effectively, I'm talking about the deathmatch. The fact that we cared so little about killing or dying (except when we combated hackers or bug abusers) is what kept our group so little yet so filled with nice, willing to have fun people. Watching that turn into what it's now is something I'll never forgive myself. It left me in real bad shape, the original group has always been an special part of me, one of the curses of being an old member.
    If something ever kept me from departing it had to be my friends. Their constant support and help always kept me going, but when even they start to leave, for a reason or another, it can only mean there's something seriously wrong around here. Take my depart as that, an alarm before the impact.
    Most of the people I used to know is gone, and you can't blame Hellboy Party Server's closure as one of the reasons (it being our only official freeroam server who stood still for more than a fucking month) because since the 0.3d version it started aiming in a different direction. You know where. It was turning from a freeroam server into a half-assed, kill-for-points piece of shit. We don't even have our own freeroam anymore! Why should we care about it anyways, nobody does.
    And you can say whatever you want to say about the FreeRoam vs. DeathMatch war but I can easily answer I did my best to stop it and share the gang equally but the opposite side was either too greedy or to idiotic to even try. You don't like my opinion? Fuck you, you bunch of stupid motherfuckers know it's true. Always commenting how skills are everything and that we shouldn't accept people without a purpose, you fuckers are killing the gang (if you didn't already). I'm sorry if I'm hurting people who cares the tiniest bit about me (yeah, those two or three guys) but I lost my temper. I'm sick and tired of fighting a lot cause. You want a fully deathmatch gang? Fine! Whatever! I'm sick of this shit, be my fucking guests, do whatever you want, the boat is already sinking anyways.
    I would like to say goodbye to every friend I ever had here but either they are gone, I'll forget someone I care about or I'll remember someone I don't so I'll say straight away: Khalid, Shadowlance, Bluebaron, Troy and Karim, you guys are the shit. You're the best I take from this gang. Thank you for accepting me as I am and befriending me in my worst moment. You guys know where to find me, not Facebook, not Xfire. Steam or Youtube.

    It's been fun, mostly.

    P.S. 1: The banner's psd will be sent to Khalid in case anyone else feels like keep it going.
    P.S. 2: You always talk about how much I gave for this gang, but the lack of caring about the stuff I did for you or posted about is sickening. The only thing I did that was used for over a fucking week around here is the KHK forums banners.
    P.S. 3: Fuck [Killer Hawks Klan], [KHalid Karim] for life.

    Antumarin out.


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    [KHK]BlueBaron
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]BlueBaron on Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:08 pm

    I can't force you to stay, or change your mind, anyways its clear that you are standing hard on your decision, and i don't believe something will change it. This isn't the first time you want to leave, it had happened before too. But, somehow we managed to keep you here. And, thank you for the great times we had, SA-MP/Minecraft etc. I hope you have a great time whichever path you pick. I had in plan to make the same topic, with the same motive, but i though my inactivity will speak more than words. Something bad is clearly going on, we can't hide the truth. I fear that this clan will have the same end as KSF, great clan ruined by some certain members. I won't state names, Thanks to those who supported us, and FUCK YOU to the rest that were against.

    Something that bothers me more, is that KHK was a group of friends having fun together. A group that was taking care of each other, now everyone is filled with hate towards others. Khalid disappointed me the most, i was just trying to bring an end to this war between the old members and the new ones. But, he would only say : Learn DM, its fun. I know DM, i never unleashed my full potential, and i never will. Honestly, its sad to see that after Antu's departure, i will be the only one left here to support Freeroam. Well, my end is near too.


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    [KHK]joud
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]joud on Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:16 pm

    I can feel you man  we all miss the old days at HPS but since 0.3c server gone down i lost all hope and i knew it will never be back again  suddenly the tcw/cw things started,i didnt mind that at all cause i like Shooting/Dueling etc..
    With time it starts to have bad effects on the clan when more members started to join and they just want to prove who is better like they are fighting for glory or highlevels whatever 
    at the late time much disrespect for old clan members appered and they want the equality to all members like new members equale to old members? that is full of shit
    Iam inactive cause syria shit and study but today i saw the shit of Killer Hawks Klan wtf is that? since i joined the clan and KHK reffers to Khalid and Karim.
    However i hope you will change your mind /everything can be fixed .
    iIf you have made your final decision i can do nothing about that .
    Take care bro.


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    [KHK]ExiT
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]ExiT on Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:39 am

    I just read up everything you guys wrote in the middle of the night . I dont know what to say . In a part im sad because a(nother) very good friend and a very loyal member leaves and im glad cause i see its hard to leave , the good memories doesnt let you leave. I the last year KHK changed , maybe too much . New name (which is probably shit but vtr dont blame me for complaining please) and from 21 members we are only 14 now . We all know Antu was the onlyone who really fought for freeroam against dm .some members still dont understand the rules about everything. But this is about Antu so we better stop complaining . Well , dude thanks for the fun time we had , your tries to make KHK better (im sure only the oldies understood it ) and for being loyal and helpful when KHK was rising and when it was suffering. KHK 4 life NIGGAS
    Antu peace and love , take care what ever you do or what ever you will start .


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    [KHK]Ash
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]Ash on Sat Aug 03, 2013 5:10 am

    Now i have to ask Khalid and Karim a question.........

    Why the goddamn fuck we still want this fucking AAD even after having this much protest against it???

    Sure guys! lets put an end to [Killer Hawk Klan] and start [Khalid and Karim]

    And i have been seeing this protest from the very first day i joined KHK.

    DM'ers made KHK a shit! ? ok whatever u say!

    Lets continue our free roam thing!

    And please note! 

    I am not here only for DMing ! Even if we moved to free roam , no problem , i wont leave KHK , and i cant.

    So antu! U have the right to say whatever u think , now we wont tell against it!

    Just wanna say! PLEASE dont leave us when we are sinking!


    Peace.......
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    [KHK]KniGhT
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]KniGhT on Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:23 pm

    i knew it will happen one day! and read all the stuff antu's wrote up there , i want to test by changing KHK into freeroam clan that it will sink or RISE! ok change it khalid into a freeroam clan we wont DM we WONT TCW WE WONT DUEL WE WONT TALK ABOUT SKILLS than antu and baron u guys will see that no one will join KHK NOW! and KHK will become inactive coz no one dieing to drive a car all around gta samp but players are active to join A TCW but i just want to show u guys and u will seee it sooon lets do it remove the ranks war lord and co-warlord make me funlord or whatever than u all will seee KHK will be no where 

    and antu i have one request bro please stay with us for a month or 2 and ENJOY THE END OF KHK WITH US THE FREEROAM CLAN

    PEACE!!!


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    [KHK]Khalid
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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

    Post by [KHK]Khalid on Sun Aug 04, 2013 5:01 pm

    Antu is a KHK forever. Thread locked.


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    Re: Goodbye, a heart to heart letter

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